But he did nothing further that night to claim me. In fact he seemed to divert his attentions back to the other girl, and after a time I couldn't take it anymore so I left after a cool farewell, a nothing hug, an embrace that would have been warmer between strangers. And that's the end of that story, I'm relieved in some ways to see the back of him, my feelings had escalated and intensified so much in these last days with him, and it was becoming too intense. Having him disappoint me, show me his true colours, his carelessness, his lack of desire toward me when compared to my own, makes it easier to not look back, not dwell, soak, parade the memories around and around in my mind. I don't want to feel bitter, he is just so young after all, I can't expect him to have the intuition and nurturing care that I have, to know how to let me down gently, or to even have the insight that I might need to be treated with care, my vulnerable heart.
So goodbye to you forever. It turns out I loved you. Yes. I am yours. But I will never ever ask you to be mine.