Thursday, 6 June 2013


Its incredible to me how much in love with the world I am right now. While I still have complex daily issues to address, my heart is light, childlike, rippled with joy. I went on a trip to the southern coast of our big island a few weeks back and ran in another half marathon with many other dedicated runners. I'd trained hard for the event, covering many kilometres over the preceding months and on the day I ran a good race. My legs held. The scenery was majestic, other worldly at times,  and my heart swelled with the sheer beauty of it, and I was proud too, having set myself a goal, a substantial one, and I'd dug deep and fulfilled my little dream of running that great ocean road. 

My boys came with me and shared the experience and I was grateful for their support. Grateful for their existence, at giving those two souls a chance at experiencing life. They are truly kind hearted beings, we have our grievances with each other, but they are few and far between. I think there is peace amongst us, I don't detect a resentment, or any deep regret from them that their mother and father live apart. I hope I'm not turning a blind eye, missing something because I don't wish to see it.

I feel a little bereft of a goal right now. For so long I had the half marathon on the horizon, propelling me forward, getting me out of bed on a cold morning. But I suppose a little meandering at times is perfectly acceptable. A little zig, a little zag for me right now. 

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