Friday, 28 June 2013
Each morning I park my car 1.5km away from work, it's in an area where you can park all day for free, rather than pay ten dollars per day to park, closer to work. Money is tight, so I figured it was worth it, adding a few extra steps into my day, and saving myself ten bucks. On Wednesday I returned to my car to find it had been vandalized. My mirrors smashed, the rear light smashed and a screw driver or key had been run across 4 or 5 panels of the car. Hundreds of dollars worth of damage, done deliberately, for no apparent reason to my car. Yes, I am insured, but my excess is $600, far more money than I can spare right now. I have to admit I have overspent lately, the two trips for the half marathons were costly, although I will never regret them, pretty life changing they were. But I was upset by this act, I feel like I am working so hard, trying so hard, and taking a few unfair kicks in the guts. I suppose we all have to face life's unfairness sometimes, but this one hurt. My friend at work tried to tell me not to look for deeper meaning in the act, that it's not a higher message from the universe, but I guess I just for a moment felt that this was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was teary, felt cheated, ready to throw in the towel, and even angry. Often in these situations I find compassion and can justify actions like this by imagining that the person who did this was some poor lost soul. Still, it was pretty malicious. They rammed a screw driver into both my mirrors, take this you naive, broke, exhausted, stressed, single mother. I suppose I felt like I was being kicked while I was down. And I was scrambling to get up again. I feel better now, I am on holidays for a week with my boys. Not going anywhere, just a week of relaxing at home, being unhurried. I've been overwhelmed these last few weeks by my busy schedule, struggling to get out of bed each morning, but already I feel better. We made home made pizzas and chocolate pudding last night, squeezed some fresh orange juice this morning. Slow simple enjoyable tasks. A step back from the pressure of my deadline driven job, which I enjoy, but means I'm often working in a fairly adrenaline heightened state. So I'm going to go slow for a week, remove all pressures, get my car fixed, and perhaps I should do a budget. But I guess it's a reminder that not everyone is as lucky as me, and has compassion within their hearts. It's wiser perhaps not to always expect the best from people, in fact it's better not to have any expectations at all. To see things at face value, so I'm not thrown into a spin by random acts of unkindness.