Saturday, 29 September 2012

XXX. Message in a Bottle

There is a feeling inside my body. It's dancing, turning, growing, giving me warmth. I think it is a kind of joyfulness. I'm not celebrating my circumstances, these are still a little tough, but I have a hopefulness in me, a growing creativity, and a fast fading fear of expressing myself. I'm feeling authentic, in charge, whilst still acknowledging the spontaneous and unpredictable nature of external forces. I'm not in control of my destiny, but I'm poised, gracefully, to manage what comes my way. If that is death even, I will face that knowing I tried my best to follow my inner guide, my heart, in life. This strange gorgeous feeling makes me feel I could walk tip toe on the finest of tightropes, spiderweb thin, in a long flowing dress, with my toes pointed to full stretch, my arms steady in balance position and my hair a windswept mess, and I would not fall. It is conviction, it is self belief, and I have it in my little hand right now. Fleeting this feeling may be, but I've captured a speck of it, put it in a digital bottle, snapped the lid on, and I can now take out this memento when I falter once again, like a tourist revisiting their travels.

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