Thursday, 20 September 2012

XXV. Internet Dating

I joined one of the country's biggest Internet dating sites about six months ago.  Put my cutest pictures up and wrote a zappy tag line. Turned my decades of living into an advertisement. Been out with a few guys for coffee, dinner, walks, because of it. Haven't met anyone I'd make permanent room in my life for this way but it's an interesting way to meet new people. Men you wouldn't normally cross paths with in the course of your life. It's nicely uncomplicated too, but strange. Inorganic. Not quite a part of the natural rhythm of life. You try each other on for size, do some simple things together to see if a spark might ignite. Got to be a bit thick skinned through it all, but you know pretty quickly whether you might like someone or not, and if they reject you, well it's not like you can fall in love after three dates. It's all very practical and efficient, and helps some corporate matchmaker get rich no doubt. 

There's no falling in love helplessly and irrevocably and painfully and then spending your days wondering how to form a lasting bond with your chosen one. I think I'm done with that kind of love. I'm clearly too obsessive. A general love of the universe and compassion for all and sundry is better. And some window shopping for dates. Lovers not love. Too easy. 

A nice tall guitar playing man has made contact with me through the site. He wrote me a very short message. And in return, I wrote him a ridiculously long message with a fair amount of randomness thrown in, as is my way. Just because I was in the mood for writing. I got carried away and forget who the audience was for my words.  I may have scared him off. Do I care? Not in the slightest. Well maybe a little, I actually thought I was being charming. I suppose I'm an acquired taste. Maybe one day I will care more about these prospects, as I get older and wrinklier, more desperate for the caresses of a lover. Or perhaps time will find me even more flippant and disregarding and depersonalizing. I know for a fact that people do form lasting relationships meeting this way so I'll soldier on and try to remember to have a little fun along the way.

Or throw in the towel. Get a cat? 

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