I have named this blog Crossing Spain as this is what I plan to do, on foot, in the year 2015 to celebrate a milestone Birthday. I won't reveal which milestone Birthday at this moment as this is to be an anonymous blog.
I've had a fascination with long journeys and pilgrimages for some time, tests of endurance in general. Both for their symbolic meaning and for the imprint they make on the physical body. I am deeply rooted in my physical body, my flesh and live to feel both the pain and the pleasure that movement, of many kinds brings.
I am uncertain as to whether this blog will be read by anyone. But it gives me motivation to write, being able to imagine, that ultimately my words will not be lost in the wind. I will attempt to write all the way through the following years to the time when I will cross Spain. Providing I don't die. Which as we all know can hapen at any moment and I've become superstitious of making claims, with certainty, about things I will undertake in the future. I prefer to be more subtle and suggestive about it.
I had someone I wrote to in the past. The words flowed from my heart and mind to him. But I've lost that connection now leaving me a little bereft. So this blog is my solution. My words have to go somewhere and right now they are carving about a painful path within me which is no longer sustainable.
I'm in a tough spot in my life right now. Have lost some things. Shed some things through choice. It's a time of rebuilding and discovery. I'm dealing with interpersonal issues about love, loyalty, family. I'm not depressed, just feeling things deeply, a little weighed down by guilt and by fear. But I have a lust for life burning within that will see me through whatever time is to come.
I'm going to have to write some entries about the past. In a hope that it will help me release some of the emotional connections to the past I am unwillingly holding on to. I'll write about things I observe that please me, that make me grin. I'll try not hold back, but I do have to be careful to retain my anonymity.
I'd like to write a book, but really I'm not suited to creating structures for stories. For making predictions about things, for deciding upon a story that most beautifully represents what I am trying to say. Instead, I will be a unique filter for the impressions of life and throw them back at you on my Wall. Through words. In cyberspace.
Thank you for reading.